26 Drinking Accessories Every Drunkard Needs In Their Life

The whisker dam is a device that attaches to your beer glass so that your mustache doesn’t get moistened by the beer as you take a sip. Hipsters worldwide rejoice, as no longer will the craft beer that they love to drink disturb the looks of their mustache that took them hours to carve using their newly purchased mustache wax.

The bottle loft is a strip of magnets that attaches to the top of your refrigerator so that you can hang beers from the ceiling of your fridge without having to waste precious space on the racks. Each magnetic strip can hold 3 beers, and don’t worry about it being able to hold your 40’s as they can support up to 50 lbs of weight.

Quite literally the coolest cooler in the world. The coolest cooler is essentially the Swiss army knife of coolers, as it pretty much has anything you’ll ever need. Features include a built in ice crushing blender to make margaritas, Bluetooth speaker for music, a USB charger to charge your phone or tablet, an LED light to see in the cooler when it’s dark, integrated storage for plates and a knife to cut your limes, a bottle opener, plus more...

The green army man bottle opener is shaped like one of those little green army man toys that every little boy most likely had growing up. If you didn’t, that’s not a life worth living. Instead of being made from flimsy plastic that definitely couldn’t open a bottle, this one’s made from sturdy metal, and would make an excellent gift idea for someone who has served, as long as they also enjoy drinking beer.

If you’ve ever considered yourself a man, chances are you've open your beer with a pair testicles at one point or another, and what better animal’s testicles to use than a kangaroo’s. Made from actual kangaroo testicles, these bottle openers were harvested humanely using the hide from the kangaroo’s scrotum. At least the kangaroos that provided their scrotums can rest easy knowing that their balls went to good use.

Chances are if you’ve ever taken a jagger bomb shot, a car bomb shot, or any shot that has a shot glass that you drop into a larger glass, you’ve been smashed in the face with the inner shot glass as you finish your shot. The Drop Shots shot glass set is made from magnetic material so that when you drop the shot glass in the larger glass, the small shot glass stays in place.

Going somewhere that doesn’t allow glass bottles, like a beach or a park? Or maybe you just want some wine without having to carry around a big bottle everywhere? The Wine2Go is a foldable wine bottle that you can take anywhere and simply folds up when you’re done consuming the sweet nectar inside. The Wine2Go holds an entire bottle of wine, and is perfect for trips to the beach, hiking, camping, or music festivals.

Do you find yourself getting lost while you drink a lot? These drinking glasses have city maps etched on to them. Probably not what they were meant for, but if you find yourself drinking in public make sure you take your city map etched drinking glass with you so you can stumble your way back home to safety.

Why try to pack all your drinks in a backpack and bike to your destination when you can just ride your cooler to where you need to go. The cooler scooter is an electric scooter and can get going up to 13 mph, plus it can hold 24 cans along with 8 lbs of ice. Watch your cheeseburger intake though, as the cooler scooter can only support riders up to 250lbs in weight.

The Whiskey wedge ice glass is a whiskey drinking glass that comes with a silicone ice cube maker that makes an ice cube that fits perfectly inside the corner of the glass. The glass is designed to reduce the watered down effect that ice cubes normally have by reducing the amount of surface area that the liquid touches. A perfect gift idea for any whiskey connoisseur.

The pistol flask is a flask that looks just like a mini pistol and is perfect for if you’re looking to get shot by police, or let everyone down around you if you find yourself in the middle of a bank robbery once they find out it’s not a real gun, and you’re actually hammered. The gun flask comes with it’s own little holster so that you can strap it right to your belt like it’s a real gun.

How many times have you found yourself drinking the sweet nectar while having a good time outdoors somewhere without any tunes to listen to. No longer will you have this problem with the Dubstein, which is a drink koozie that has an integrated Bluetooth speaker right on it. A perfect gift idea for any music loving drinking enthusiast, which I think is all of them.

This Earth Cooler uses the ground to cool your beer. Simply wind your beers up using the internal beer elevator from the depths of the Earth and consume your non-electric cooled beer. A perfect gift idea for the green and environmental friendly beer drinker, the Earth Cooler is 100% Earth friendly as it uses no electricity or batteries.

The hide-a-beer soda can sleeve is basically a cut up soda can that you can place over your beer so that you can drink in public without worrying about the authorities. Essentially someone cuts up a soda can and cuts the top and bottom off of it, and then makes a slice all the way down the side of it. You can then open it up and wrap it around your beer. If you’re too cheap to buy them, you could always just make some yourself.

Although the giant flask kind of defeats the purpose of carrying around a flask, the Sasquatch flask is perfect for the person who needs a lot of booze in a place that doesn’t allow booze. An extra large waistband will be helpful as well as it needs to hide somewhere. Although with the amount of booze you're about to consume, the large waistband shouldn’t be a problem.

Thor’s hammer bottle opener might just be the manliest, yet over the top flamboyant way possible to open your beer. Screw the bottle openers that attach to your key-chain, why not use a giant hammer and make it as cumbersome of a project as possible. If you manage to open your bottle of beer without smashing it, I would call that a success.

This legless pirate bottle opener has a corkscrew for a leg, and a bottle opener for a face. In fact the attention to detail the maker of this pirate bottle opener has is pretty amazing, as the pirate has a key-ring on the side of it that looks like an earring, the eye-patch in the middle of the bottle opener, the bandanna on top, and they actually snuck in a parrot on his shoulder that you might not have seen right away.

The remote controlled drink holder is a device that you can put in your pool to hold your drinks along with some snacks and you can cruise it around the pool to deliver people's drinks, or bring someone a snack without moving an inch from the pool float your reside upon. The remote control floating drink holder can hold up to 5 drinks at a time, along with 1 snack in the middle. It’s powered by 1 9-volt battery in the remote, and 6 D-cell batteries in the floater.

Sometimes it’s nice to know how much beer you’ve drank before it’s too late and you’re praying to the porcelain goddess. This beer tracking bottle opener adds a count to the tracker each time it opens a bottle of beer. No longer will you need to count the empty beer bottles after you wake up and clear the crust from your eyelids to get an accurate count of the damage you did to your liver the night before.

Similar to the Bottle Loft, this hanging wine holder attaches to the top of your refrigerators rack to save room for other alcoholic beverages that need to be chilled in your fridge. The fridge wine holder comes in two hoops. Simply place them sideways and snap them into place using the rods on your fridge’s top rack. Just make sure you’re not refrigerating your red wine, that’s essentially illegal.

Need to give your friends a freight after they have something to drink at your house? These drinking glasses feature the words “You Have Just Been Poisoned” on the bottom of the glasses so that as someone is staring at the bottom of their glasses as they finish their drink, they will read the text and hopefully splatter what’s left of it out of their mouth.

Need to get a little sauced up before that meeting at work? The tie drinking flask is a hidden container inside your tie so that you can just grab the end of your tie and start drinking. When someone asks why you are sucking on your tie, and can just tell them you have Mother problems. The tie flask can hold up to 8oz of booze.

These spiked drinking glasses have a spike on them so that you can push them right into the sand at the beach so you don’t have to find a flat surface to set your drink down on. Plus, best of all is they float, so you can bring your beverage out into the water without having to carry it the whole time.

The Spin Chill is a device that can cool your drink down within seconds by spinning it in ice. Simply attach the device to the top of your warm beverage, place the drink in ice and turn it on. By spinning your dink, it takes all the warm liquid in the center of the container and pushes it towards the outside where the ice comes in contact with the edge of the container, thus chilling it in a matter of seconds.

Slip cups are a set of plastic cup inserts that you can use while you play a game of beer pong so that the dirty balls won’t contaminate the beer inside the glasses. The inserts go into each cup, and even have little flaps on the inside that will prevent the ball from bouncing right back out. Plus the cups have numbers on them so that you can play an array of other games with them.

If for some reason one beer is not enough for you to carry around at a time and you often find yourself carrying around 2 beers at a time, the two fisted drinker might be for you. The Two Fisted Drinker is essentially two glasses of beer fuzed into one. In the middle of the two glasses is a hole where the beer can drain back and forth between the two glasses so that the beer won’t spill all over your face when you go to take a drink.